JetHag

Why is the media chastising this guy? The standard airline seat is just 17.2″ wide. SEVENTEEN POINT TWO FUCKING INCHES WIDE. Here is a list of things that are, on the average, bigger than 17.2 fucking inches.

A fucking desktop keyboard:

The width of this fucking baby stroller (I kid you the fuck not):

The length of this 1982 fucking Rolling Stone cover of the Go Gos:

And the length of a fucking pig penis:

If your ass can comfortably fit within the parameters of any of the above, you are either a.) an infant or b.) an anorexic who should shut the fuck up. Airlines should make their seats comfortable for fucking people, period. Yet none of them are, even for skinny asses. If they increased seat room to accommodate obese people (40 percent of the fucking population), how comfortable would your skinny ass be? Pretty goddam comfortable. And you’d be welcome, too. Christ.

This Air New Zealand stew is naked in the safety demo video (Her uniform is painted on.) Here are some more gimmicks that suck the boredom out of airline safety videos.

killer chihuahua

Maybe “hijack” is a strong word, but presently Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez are facing a law suit filed by a flight attendant because their personal-assist dog allegedly attacked her as the plane was boarding.

A woman is in jail today because she called an airline to falsely report a bomb on her boss’ flight in order to delay it long enough for him to make it.

Evidently, Stews give good TV.

Above: Edita Schindlerova light and dark

It was discovered recently that Ryanair flight attendant Edita Schindlerova serves up a side job as a porn star. Both Schindlerove and Ryanair are fine with that, thank you. As for the passengers, they will just have to hope she had a thorough HazMat hose-down before serving them their coffee.

Rosa Parks never flew on a plane in the 50’s and 60’s, so discrimination was rampant. Read how crappy non-caucasions were treated inflight back then. If you juxtapose it against how crappy everyone is treated now, you can almost talk yourself into believing we’ve reached in-flight equality.

Stewardesses will soon be expected to sell crap other than pillows, sandwiches and drinks on the plane.

. . . Now first class gets you big knockers. Finnair unveils a frequent-flier program in which they offer free plastic surgery in exchange for air miles. A new boob job, for example, will run you 120 New York/Helsinki round trips. Just think, for just $360,000 (approximately) you could look like you’ve had plastic surgery or look like you’re just plain plastic.